Sunday, December 21, 2008
Last night was Metallica. Leading up to go time for leaving I was freaking the fuck out. Melanie and Kristi were both vigalante in their attempts to relax me. The more they tried the more I freaked. I wanted to go, I wanted to enjoy myself. I wanted to be me again. I cleaned the house. I went and ran errands. I took a chill pill (happy Melissa?) and cuddled up with Cal on the couch and passed the fuck out. I did anything and everything to make sure that I would not get ready and go. Sure enough, I get the final are you getting ready phone call. Thank goodness because it is the only reason I woke up, lol. I got ready. I packed the obligatory tailgater ice chest. Dropped the kids off. I made it to the house to pick everyone up. The second I pulled in the driveway I knew it was going to be a great night. All of my anxiety washed away. I had so much fun. It was like I was me again. None of the hurt, none of the anger. I laughed and smiled genuine smiles. I missed having Courtney there but I was okay knowing that he was gone. This simple concert was a huge step in me feeling like there is an end to all of this. The road is long and for this one great night, there will be many many bad nights but this was good. This was what I needed. I love you guys for pulling me out of my comfort zone and I thank you! For now, for this short moment in time I am ready for what is next. Good or bad.