Okay, a bit of relief has come our way. The POS has once again dropped the custody/visitation case. He had visitation right there in his hands and pulls out. The timing is all wrong, he is going to be traveling for work. Fuck I am so happy for my boys. This is a huge weight that has lifted. He can't touch them. They can relax and not have that what if lingering over them. When I told them that it was over, I could actually see their spirits lift. They smiled, #1 actually giggled a little. It was so good to see them look like kids again even if it was just for a minute.

Today Courtney's mom also had eye surgery. One eye took several hours. This was supposed to be a quick in and out procedure. Now they tell me that she must remain on her stomach with her head down for the next week in recovery. How the fuck do I manage this. It was going to be hard enough to deal with taking care of her and Ed without this new twist. I can not in any way shape or form move this woman. I will not even consider the option of wiping anything let alone an ass. Oh hell no. Ed just isn't capable of doing these things either. Contrary to popular belief I am happy and relived that she is okay. I hope that this is what she needs to see better. I am waiting for the moment when I can sit again. Breath again and for the love of all that is holy in this world not take care of anyone but myself and my kids.